Archive for April, 2008

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Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

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Patriot Games ***1/2 (out of 5) (1992)

Cast: Harrison Ford, Anne Archer, Patrick Bergin, Sean Bean, Thora Birch

Directed by Philip Noyce

CIA agent Jack Ryan is back, this time on vacation in England when he stops an assassination attempt on a member of the Royal Family by a band of Irish terrorists. In the scuffle, Ryan kills a young lad and the terrorists vow revenge on Ryan and his family.

Nice action sequences and credible acting puncuate this intelligent second entry in the Jack Ryan saga. Ford replaces Alec Baldwin, who portrayed starred in the first film THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, and gives the role more believability and depth with convincing results. Though the plot isn’t the most interesting, nor the situations particularly as dire as in the first flick, this definitely delivers all of the action and intrigue you’d expect from a Clancy novel.

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Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

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It must be great fun to be a pal of Adam Sandler’s. Being a member of his audience is considerably less of a treat. “Mr. Deeds,” Sandler’s latest film, was put on paper by Tim Herlihy, said to be the star’s college roommate, who’s written or co-written six of his other films. Another college pal, Jack Giarraputo, has been a producer each time, Perry Andelin Blake has done all the production design, actor-associate producer Allen Covert is in almost everything, and even director Steven Brill has acted in three Sandler films as well as finding time to direct the noxious “Little Nicky.” How cozy for all involved, but what about us? ADVERTISEMENT Sandler and his cohorts must have a great time together after all these years, maybe too much so. Didn’t anyone take a break from swimming in good feelings (”It’s like working with family, it’s the best possible of situations,” the director gushingly told Daily Variety) to notice how little “Mr. Deeds” has to offer. For what’s most interesting about this new film is how lacking it is in any of the things, from humor to emotion to halfway decent acting, we might go to a movie for. There’s not even enough here to get mad at. Rather, it’s more dispiriting than anything else to see how little a film can offer and still get made if a star who commands a paying audience decides to make it his own. This “Mr. Deeds” is loosely inspired by the Frank Capra-Robert Riskin-Gary Cooper 1936 classic, “Mr. Deeds Goes to Town.” Although what’s left of the original’s populism and celebration of small-town values feels distinctly half-hearted, the plot does let Sandler return to his warm and cuddly “Wedding Singer” persona. Before we meet the aw-shucks Deeds–he avoids using his given name of Longfellow and doesn’t want anyone calling him mister–we share the last moments on Earth of Preston Blake (Harve Presnell), the irascible 82-year-old billionaire who meets his end while leading an unwise assault on Mt. Everest. Blake owned 49% of Blake Media, worth $40 billion (inflation has raised that from the $20 million of the original), and the company’s oily executive Chuck Cedar (Peter Gallagher) is determined to find Blake’s only living relative and bend him to his will. That would be Deeds, a greeting-card poet manque who owns a pizzeria in Mandrake Falls, N.H., but dreams of making that big sale to Hallmark. Meanwhile, he hugs everyone in sight (”handshakes are for strangers”), says things like “I’m wicked sorry about last night” and provides great fun for what must be an entertainment-starved town by reading his verses aloud. The plot takes Deeds to Manhattan, where he falls into the clutches of Babe Bennett (Winona Ryder), a producer for tabloid TV’s “Inside Access.” She pretends to be a school nurse from the Midwest to gain Deeds’ trust for her own venal aims, but soon finds herself fatally attracted to someone she calls, in the film’s determinedly pedestrian dialogue, “a good-hearted guy who doesn’t share our sense of ironic detachment.” This notion could be entertaining–it certainly was in the original–but that doesn’t happen here. For one thing, the film’s pacing and direction are so lackadaisical that nominal professionals like Steve Buscemi and John Turturro make as little impact as non-pros like John McEnroe and the Rev. Al Sharpton. That lack of energy seems to have infected Sandler as well. He seems barely there as Longfellow Deeds, disengaged from a role that only seems to interest him when, in moments that would be classified as psychotic in a more coherent film, he departs from his pose of decency to deliver any number of savage beatings to people who step out of line. They certainly don’t make sweet and lovable guys the way they used to. They don’t seem to be making parts for Ryder the way they used to either. While Sandler showed in Paul Thomas Anderson’s forthcoming “Punch-Drunk Love” that he’s capable of expanding his range, this gifted actress seems to be contracting hers. Not only is this the kind of cookie-cutter part that would have been unimaginable for Ryder a few years ago, she seems completely lost in it. Truly this is a performance of which the less said the better. The same is true for “Mr. Deeds.” It’s a film that isn’t there, 91 minutes of celluloid without a movie. The question the nasty executive asks an underling–”Is this a joke to you?”–could, with a change of inflection, be more profitably asked of the film as a whole. MPAA rating: PG-13 for language, including sexual references, and some rear nudity. Times guidelines: some moments of crassness and unexpectedly nasty. ‘Mr. Deeds‘ Adam Sandler…Longfellow Deeds Winona Ryder…Babe Bennett John Turturro…Emilio Lopez Allen Covert…Marty Peter Gallagher…Chuck Cedar Jared Harris…Mac McGrath Columbia Pictures and New Line Cinema present a Happy Madison production in association with Out of the Blue Entertainment, released by Columbia Pictures. Director Steven Brill. Producers Sid Ganis, Jack Giarraputo. Executive producers Adam Sandler, Joseph M. Caracciolo. Screenplay Tim Herlihy, based on a story by Clarence Budington Kelland. Cinematographer Peter Lyons Collister. Editor Jeff Gourson. Costumes Ellen Lutter. Music Teddy Castellucci. Production design Perry Andelin Blake. Art director Stephen McCabe. Set decorator Lauri Gaffin. Running time: 1 hour, 31 minutes. In general release.
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Monday, April 28th, 2008

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Mystic River Reviewed By Erik Childress Posted 10/08/03 15:01:25

"Eastwood’s Modern ‘Unforgiven’" (Awesome)

Mystic River is simply put, one of those mesmerizing pieces of storytelling that you just sit back in your chair and allow to absorb you. You can’t help it. This is a movie on its own terms with no time to be searching for flaws. Its characters are strong (and weak) and the faces populating them are in tune with every moment, never grandstanding for the camera. And behind it all you have Clint Eastwood, the conductor of a smooth jazz-like orchestration that proves indefinitely that great storytelling is indeed an artform.As boys, Jimmy, Sean and Dave were a tight bunch playing hockey on the streets of Boston and wanting to carve their names into fresh cement so it would remain forever. This more-than-innocent bit of vandalism raises the ire of a passing car and soon, young Dave is thrust into a nightmare that will haunt him for the remainder of his days.25 years pass and the boys have gone their separate ways. Jimmy (Sean Penn), the tough guy of the group now has a happy family and owns a local store. Sean (Kevin Bacon) has become a cop and Dave (Tim Robbins), a shell of his former self, still lives in the neighborhood and dotes on his young son.Late one evening, Dave comes home covered in blood and slashed across his stomach. He says it was a mugger that he may have killed, but his wife Celeste (Marcia Gay Harden) becomes suspicious when a 19-year old girl turns up dead. Jimmy’s daughter.It’s a simple setup that takes its time to evolve over the first 40 minutes. In a more conventional tale, the material could be spun any which way to favor one plot or one character over another. But Eastwood and screenwriter Brian Helgeland (capable of both the brilliant L.A. Confidential and the dreadful The Order) do something masterful by providing an equal footing for each character all involved in their own strand of the same story. Jimmy must personally deal with the loss of his child through the process of neighborhood gatherings and funeral decisions. Sean and his partner Whitey (Laurence Fishburne) are trying to solve the murder, piecing together the evidence leading them to two suspects; one, the boyfriend of the victim and the other who must come to terms with his own past while looking in the eye of a wife who no longer trusts him.Mystic River doesn’t beat us into submission with a whole “what’s it all about?” mentality. Some stories just have an evolution of their own without pausing to oversymbolize what’s already right in front of us. Dave isn’t the only one forced to look inward at the timeline that brought him to this point. Sean has an estranged wife who won’t even talk to him nor reveal their daughter’s name and Jimmy has his own demons to confront after doing a stint in prison. The sins of the past rising to the forefront are as amiable as anything to provide a deeper consultation. Couple that with religious symbolism and the aptitude to become heavy-handed can sneak up just as easily as a well-told story.Eastwood never allows the little things to cloud up the big picture though. His canvas is so thoroughly devised that we only connect-the-dots up to a point and are then subjected to a palpable anger and sadness with how these three stories will eventually converge. Credit Eastwood, Helgeland, cinematographer Tom Stern and Editor Joel Cox for delivering one of the most nail-biting, foundation-shaking finales I’ve seen in recent time. Through it all, we’ve got a cast that will make any movie fan salivate and “six degrees of Kevin Bacon” players will send thank-you cards for. It’s hard to fathom Sean Penn and Tim Robbins not given serious award consideration for their respective work. Very few actors can match Penn for inner intensity. As Fishburne’s Whitey points out, he carries the weight of prison on his shoulders and the loss of his daughter in his stomach. We pray for justice and that Jimmy will have the foresight to do the right thing when judgment day is upon him. Robbins knows just when to pull back on his portrayal of the scarred Dave. The tendency to overplay his balled-up outrage is tempting for any actor, but the hulking Robbins uses every muscle in his face to keep us on edge to what he is capable of. Is he a monster; or just a victim if he is?Bacon, one of our most underappreciated screen presences, is as solid as ever as Sean, who has no idea how to confront his emotions outside of the daily horror he sees as a detective. Much like Harden’s Celeste, who is now all nerves and no one to explain herself to. Even Laura Linney, who seems mostly left on the sidelines with her thick New England drawl, gets to deliver a final, penetrating monologue that may hit some of the same chords that Amanda Peet’s did last year in Changing Lanes.This is only the fourth film Eastwood has directed without himself to command the screen (Bird, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and the all-but-forgotten 70s romance, Breezy, being the others) and it ranks up there with Unforgiven as a modern companion piece and the best, bar none, of his career. Both masterworks had powerful stories at their forefront that resonated into the waking moments of your trance for days after you left the theater. This is a virtuoso achievement from Eastwood and everyone involved with Mystic River whose final credits actually read “Music by Clint Eastwood”. If a more apropos coda could exist, I couldn’t think of one.
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Saturday, April 26th, 2008

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Small Soldiers ** (out of 5) (1998)

Cast: Kirsten Dunst, David Cross, Jay Mohr, Gregory Smith, Phil Hartman, Denis Leary

Directed by Joe Dante

The son of a small toy store owner wants to make his father a profit while he’s away so he decides to stock some new toys early. These new toys are action figures which have a chip in them allowing them to think and talk but they are also meant to fight with each other. Now all hell breaks loose in his neighborhood because these toys stop at nothing until they complete the job they were supposed to do: destroy each other at all costs.

Joe Dante, the man who directed GREMLINS, goes back to familiar territory with this GREMLINS clone. It’s actually quite enjoyable for about the first half before ultimately crashing down in an overlong and overly chaotic siege on the house, consuming about a half hour of mindnumbing tedium. Sporting a likeable cast and outstanding special effects, it has what it takes to be a good film, but it seems that only the concept of the film was good, they just had nowhere to go with it.

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Friday, April 25th, 2008

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Northfork

The town of Northfork Montana is, literally, dammed. The year is 1955, and six men are set with the task of evacuating the last of the town’s occupants before the area is flooded. The event is described by the government as “merely a tertiary inconvenience for new [hydroelectric] power.” But images speak louder than words in Northfork, and the six evacuators approach their task as though pallbearers to the funeral of their town. Wearing identical suits and driving identical sedans, the men depart in pairs to convince the remaining townsfolk to leave their homes.

With the majority of the residents long gone, Northfork is instead populated with striking images: a farm house transformed into an ark, a cemetery emptied of its coffins, and preacher delivering a eulogy in a church which is missing its fourth wall. Beyond that missing wall is a grey and empty landscape which is both ominous and sorrowful: like a Terrence Malick film in the wintertime.

The six men drive through this dismal landscape two by two in order to deliver a pair of angel wings and a last chance for evacuation to the remaining residents. The townsfolk are unwelcoming and delightfully Lynchian. One house, seemingly vacant, is occupied by an unusual group of misfits who might be leftovers from a Lewis Carroll novel. They go by the names of Flower Hercules, Cup of Tea, Cod and Happy. Though they don’t call themselves angels, they are looking for a “relative” called the unknown angel, and seek help in finding him from a dying boy.

Few clues are provided as to the meaning of the film. But after nearly a week of digesting, this is how I understand it: Northfork is about relocation as a metaphor for salvation. Someone who can’t relocate/ be saved (the dying boy) must therefore be rescued by angels. Alternately, those who, by their own free will, won’t relocate/ be saved, are given one last chance to accept salvation (wings) before becoming lost souls who are, literally, dammed.

Ah ha!

Regardless, the best way to view Northfork is to consider it as a 20th century parable. It is also the kind of film which will likely improve itself after a second viewing, and the gorgeous cinematography alone fully warrants this necessity.

Throughout the film I was struck by simple, poignant camera moves like the upside-down perspective of a child lying in the backseat of a car and tipping his head back to look out the window. The Polish Brothers (Twin Falls Idaho, Jackpot) skillfully create a world for their film and draw the audience in. There is no question that these filmmakers understand how to use images to tell a deeply original story. Unfortunately, they need to work on how they tell the story with words.

The number one problem with Northfork is the writing. First of all, the audience is not given enough information on how to interpret the film. The majority of filmgoers will see this film only once and without some kind of paradigm with which to interpret the film, some viewers may come away with nothing. Secondly, the writing is not as clever or insightful as the filmmakers might imagine it to be. Lines such as, “There are two kids of people: Chevy people and Ford people,” ring profound only in the most hollow of minds. Lastly, moments of humor are handled incorrectly. The atmosphere of the film is such that laughter of any kind seems highly inappropriate. As a pair of men arrive at the front door of a house where the doormat is in disrepair, one of the men comments, “It seems they’ve worn out their welcome.” The humor is so hokey and out of place it’s more of an irritation than comic relief.

Nevertheless, the missteps in the screenplay are minor when compared to the rest of the film, which is well crafted. Nick Nolte is skillfully restrained and noble as the aging town priest, and James Woods delivers a serious performance almost on par with that of Mr. Lisbon in The Virgin Suicides.

The Polish Brothers clearly have a talent for filmmaking, but their novice may be misinterpreted as pretentiousness. Northfork will be best enjoyed by a movie-goer who is willing to give something back to the film intellectually and accept it for the grim little puzzle that it is.

-Megan A. Denny
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Thursday, April 24th, 2008

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About two hours into David Lynch’s “Inland Empire,” Nikki Grace (Laura Dern), or Susan Blue (Laura Dern), or possibly a third, nameless döppelganger (also Dern), runs down a pitch-dark, back-country lane, her mouth frozen in a blood-chilling, smeared-clown grimace. What has inspired this look of terror is never revealed. It could be anything. An anxious, disoriented Dern has wended from one identity to the next, one reality to the next, one country to the next with such paralyzing nightmare logic for such a long time by now that there seems nothing left to do but wait for the inevitably violent end. If you’re like me, you’ll wait for it anxiously. If you’re like the woman who sat next to me, you’ll prove your mettle and devotion by seeing it again. Shot on grainy, often blown-out and distorted consumer-grade video, scored to a feedback distortion-heavy soundtrack that will be familiar to fans and tinnitus sufferers alike, and clocking in at one merciful minute under three hours, Lynch’s much-anticipated follow-up to “Mulholland Drive” signals a hale swan-dive off the deep end, away from any pretense of narrative logic and into the purer realm of unconscious free association. I found myself pining for “The Elephant Man,” but that’s just me. ADVERTISEMENT Lynch has talked about the freedom afforded him by video — shooting 40-minute takes, writing scenes moments before they are shot, following ideas into places they couldn’t have gone had complicated lighting set-ups been required. But the lack of structure and rigor doesn’t seem to serve him here, and the film, which begins promisingly, disappears down so many rabbit holes (one of them involving actual rabbits) that eventually it just disappears for good. Dern begins the film as Nikki, a famous actress who has recently crested her celebrity summit and is anxiously awaiting news of whether she’s been cast in the new Kingsley Stewart (Jeremy Irons) movie, a Southern melodrama ludicrously titled, “On High in Blue Tomorrows.” Something’s not right about this scenario, though, starting with the upholstery at Nikki’s house. There’s the creepy front door. And the creaky butler (Ian Abercrombie). And the fact that Nikki’s stuffily macabre taste in decorating would have been outmoded back when Norma Desmond was big. So when a sinister neighbor (Grace Zabriskie) pays her an unexpected visit, informs her that today is tomorrow, she’s gotten the part and the movie is a remake — actually, a haunted remake of a Polish movie that was cursed by gypsies and never completed because the lead actors were murdered — one is intrigued, but not entirely surprised. Because, clearly, something’s not right in general. Soon the movie is moving between unrelated situations on hallucinatory transitions. Giant rabbits exchange Beckettian dialogue on a ’50s-era sitcom set against a laugh track. A Polish hooker sits on a hotel room bed as she watches a movie on TV. Nikki’s costar, a young Hollywood player named David Berk (Justin Theroux), finds himself fielding threats from Nikki’s shadowy husband’s goons. On the set, David investigates a noise that leads to the discovery of yet another alternate parallel reality — this one inhabited by an alternate parallel Nikki. At first, this reality resembles the movie they’re making, in which Nikki plays a character named Susan Blue who falls in love with David’s character, Billy Side. Eventually, Nikki disappears into Susan and it seems never comes back, while Susan slides through the grates of her own persona into ever more squalid and disconcerting scenarios that end with her collapsing among the homeless on the corner of Hollywood and Vine. A warped “Alice in Wonderland,” “Inland Empire” invites you to study it like a rune. And no doubt that repeated viewings would lead to new discoveries and hypotheses. Is this Lynch’s exegesis on why actors are the way they are? A lament for Hollywood production jobs lost to Eastern Europe? A warning about the movie- and TV-created fog in which we live? A fugue on the variations of fugues, “Inland Empire” mimics the very dissociative disorder it dramatizes, probably intentionally, in which a person forgets who she is and creates a new life elsewhere without memory of the previous life. It’s a dreamlike state of altered conscientiousness that lasts for hours. It’s a piece of music in which a theme is repeated above or below its first statement. It’s a tough movie to sit through. carina.chocano@latimes.com MPAA rating: Unrated. Running time: 2 hours, 59 minutes. Exclusively at Laemmle’s Sunset 5, 8000 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood (323) 848-3500; Playhouse 7, 673 E. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena (626) 844-6500.
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Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

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I Spy Reviewed By Erik Childress Posted 11/01/02 09:36:42

"…With My Eye - A Pretty Flat Flick" (Pretty Bad)

There’s a scene in the middle of I Spy where stars Eddie Murphy and Owen Wilson are forced to hide in a sewer. It’s a long scene, one that a colleague of mine said feels like something you would see in the deleted scenes section of the DVD section. The two actors discuss how bad it stinks down there and then spend a good amount of screen time trading barbs and talking to each other as if the script pages hadn’t arrived that day. Critics just wait for scenes like this. Stuck right in the middle of an already below mediocre film, a writer can open his eyes and ears knowing full well that they’ve received an entry point into their review. It’s one of the few times my eyes and ears were wide open during this film.Why do filmmakers even bother anymore? Are we so stupid a nation that we can’t tell that the TV-into-film trend has taken a sharp turn into nothing but name recognition? Not that it was the most noble endeavor in the first place, but even with the occasional success (The Fugitive) audiences could still go in and expect some kind of direct relation to the original series. Even when it turned to poking fun with the Brady Bunch films and an upcoming Starsky and Hutch feature (with Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson), the roots still poked out from the surface. Nowadays, it comes down to picking a title and maybe keeping the names of the original charactersThat’s about all there really is to adapt from the 1960s series. A white tennis player and a black spy team up. What more is there other than it being one of the first shows to feature an African-American (Bill Cosby) in the lead? In 2002, there’s now a white spy and a black boxer. Their names are still Alex Scott (Owen Wilson) and Kelly Robinson (Eddie Murphy). So what more is there? Not a whole lot.What serves as a plot has third-string spy, Scott, assigned by the “BNS” to thwart the sale of an invisible jet by international baddie Arnold Gundars (Malcolm McDowell, cashing a paycheck for two scenes worth of work.) For story purposes, the BNS and President GWB ask Robinson to join Scott on his mission as an escort to get into a party full of, apparently, every bad guy in the world. The potential for that scene alone warrants unlimited comic possibilities, but like most everything else, isn’t taken advantage of.Four screenwriters. That’s what it took. Four of them. And I will put a bet down that not one of them came up with a single joke worthy of a Kindergartner telling a Knock-Knock joke. Anything that is remotely amusing or has any flashes of comic energy had to have been supplied by Murphy and Wilson relying on their own comic instincts. Murphy is on full blast here (a drinking game awaits for every time he says “Kelly Robinson” in the film) and Wilson, who has that rare quality to play both the straight man and the funniest personality in the room at the same time is given such a confused character that he has no choice but to play off of Murphy’s shtick. When you see the two funniest scenes in the film, a climactic rooftop confrontation and a Cyrano bit set to the music of “Sexual Healing” as Murphy helps Wilson overcome his crush on fellow agent, Rachel (a very good and sexy Famke Janssen), the flattest parts of the film (namely the other 80 minutes) stand out all the more. Betty Thomas (The Brady Bunch Movie, Private Parts) should have been the right choice to direct this material, but even she seems intent on letting the two comic geniuses just run with their personalities rather than maximizing the inherent satire. An opening scene gives Wilson the chance to mock his ridiculous action turn in Behind Enemy Lines, but doesn’t. A prolonged chase in the middle neither reaches for excitement or plants the tongue firmly enough in the cheek. And how can anyone waste the great Gary Cole as a superspy with a Spanish accent (even though he’s from Iowa?)If I Spy were funny (enough) or exciting (enough) then it would be fairly simple to forgive the financial extortion it’s trying to reap from the moviegoing public. It doesn’t pull its weight as a nostaglic wink nor embraces it with a fitting tribute. All we’re left with are two great comic actors sitting around in a sewer filled with ass-blasted sludge trying desperately to pass the time until the next project comes along. With Hollywood these days, that could easily mean Hawaii Five-O with the cast of Baywatch, Ironside starring Michael Ironside and the one we’ve all been waiting for – Bonanza vs. Rawhide.
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Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

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Reindeer Games *1/2 (out of 5) (2000)

Cast: Ben Affleck, Gary Sinise, Charlize Theron, Clarence Williams III

Directed by John Frankenheimer

As soon as you find out that the movie’s set around Christmas time, and the main characters in the film are named “Rudy” and “Nick”, you know you’re going to be in for a painfully bad time, and if you’re looking for a really bad film to make fun of, REINDEER GAMES definitely delivers.

The ridiculous plot surrounds a car thief (the aforementioned Rudy) just getting out of the joint after six years, who assumes the identity of his recently shanked cellmate (the aforementioned Nick) in order to get some cheap thrills from Nick’s penpal girlfriend, Ashley. Bad stuff happens when Ashley’s brother and his gang of thugs kidnap Rudy in order to get information on how to stage an armed robbery at an Indian casino the real Nick used to work at.

Will the real John Frankenheimer please stand up? For every MANCHURAIN CANDIDATE and RONIN he directs, it seems there’s an ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU or REINDEER GAMES to keep him from making a name for himself. Of course, laying blame on Frankenheimer alone for this infuriating fiasco just can’t be done, because there’s no way one person could have made a movie this bad all on his own.

Yes, blame also should be dealt heavily on screenwriter Ehren Kruger, who also wrote such gems of movie magic as SCREAM 3 and ARLINGTON ROAD. It must be said that his script isn’t always predictable…at times the twists and turns are so far-fetched that you’d have to be either an idiot or genius to conceive of plot points this hard to swallow (and Kruger is no genius).

Then there’s the terrible ensemble of actors, the worst of which is Ben Affleck himself, who in other films has been quite good but here is so uncharismatic and hammy in trying to spin off one-liners to no avail that most viewers will hope Sinise finally does everyone justice by capping his ass from the first smarmy smirk…Cary Grant he’s not…or Lou Grant for that matter.

If REINDEER GAMES succeeds at anything, it’s in actually being worse than the god-awful CHAIN REACTION in the NORTH BY NORTHWEST action clone genre. It starts out by hitting you on the head with a Stupid Stick and wailing away for the duration, and will leave most viewers with a hangover from the sheer idiocy of it all. If you’re still intent on watching this film after all of my warnings, be prepared to ask yourself the toughest of questions: What did you shamefully waste the most after watching REINDEER GAMES…your money or your time?

Back to Qwipster’s Movie Reviews

 

 

 


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Monday, April 21st, 2008

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Bikini Bandits Experience, The Reviewed By Charles Tatum Posted 09/29/04 00:43:57

"Experience Not Required" (Total Crap)

Director Steven Grasse shoots this headache inducing ode to 1970’s B-movie drive-in trash. He should have watched some 1970’s B-movie drive-in trash first.Based on the internet series (reason enough to take pause), there is not a linear plotline, but the film kind of goes like this: four bikini clad criminals are sent to hell. There, the devil sends them back to defile the Virgin Mary. Next, they hide out in Amish country, and then time travel back to 1776. They finally hide out on a porn shoot, looking for an Amish retarded boy, and are saved by Corey Feldman and a bunch of ninjas. This is a merciful fifty-four minutes long. It should have been an insane take on the old grindhouse fare of the 1970’s, but the film makers commit a horrible mistake. A cult film develops a cult following through word of mouth and an intrinsic quality found in the film itself. If you are setting out to specifically make a cult film, then you will try too hard and fail. That is exactly what happens here. The film makers try everything: there are fake home shopping ads for G-Mart tossed in with bad edits, musical interludes, a hairy yoga guy, and lots of annoying animation and graphics. We are treated to real phone conversations between the producers and some obnoxious guy named Zembo who keeps getting beat up on camera when he bothers some people. Finally, Corey Feldman proves he is the most irritating film personality ever (just do the hardcore porn already). The only nudity on display here are guys’ butts. The fearsome foursome go through this without taking off anything but their pride."The Bikini Bandit Experience" is not trashy on a fun level. It is just trash. I had the same reaction to this as I did to "The Underground Comedy Movie," another "eagerly awaited" flick based on some fan boys’ alone time activities- big damn deal. Avoid this at once.
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Sunday, April 20th, 2008

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Flags of Our Fathers Reviewed By Lybarger Posted 10/21/06 09:10:00

"It made my day." (Awesome)

It’s been a long time since Clint Eastwood’s movies have indicated that firing a Smith and Wesson was the solution to evil. With “Mystic River” and “Million Dollar Baby,” Eastwood has directed morally complex stories that are as engrossing as they are bleak. In these films and his latest “Flags of Our Fathers,” Eastwood takes seemingly simple situations and expertly deconstructs them. The new film has a much larger scope than its predecessors, but Eastwood manages to keep his intriguing vision intact.In the new film, Eastwood examines the late Joe Rosenthal’s iconic photo of the raising of the American flag during the Battle of Iwo Jima and the remarkably complicated story behind it. Because the faceless men hoisting the pole look so dramatic, it’s easy to believe that they had just dodged the final bullets to plant the flag on Mt. Suribachi. In truth, the flag was raised on the fifth day of an exceptionally bloody engagement that lasted more than a month. By the time the image was printed all over the world, half of the six men depicted were dead. Worse, it wasn’t until years later that Marine on the right of the photo was properly identified.Nonetheless, Rosenthal’s photo became a remarkable motivator back in the States. Seeing the triumphant figures in the photo made Americans sense the sacrifices of World War II had not been in vain. You didn’t need to see the Marines’ faces to sense victory.For the three men who survived—Navy corpsman John “Doc” Bradley (Ryan Phillippe) and Marines Rene Gagnon (Jesse Bradford) and Ira Hayes (Adam Beach, “Smoke Signals”)—the battle ended up following them to their graves. In the film, the trio is sent home to lead a bond drive in order to keep the war effort going. Although Iwo Jima is one of a long string of American wins in the Pacific, the war is bankrupting the United States. To rally their fellow Americans, the three tour the country reenacting the flag raising in a manner that borders on the absurd. In a moment that’s worthy of surrealist Luis Buńuel, the men are asked to eat a desert statue of themselves raising the flag, covered in blood red strawberries.For most of “Flags of Our Fathers,” however, Eastwood and screenwriters William Broyles, Jr. and Paul Gaggis (working from the book by John Bradley’s son, James and Ron Powers) imbue the film with the proper sense of gravity. Eastwood cribs a bit from the bleached out visual style that Steven Spielberg (who’s credited as a producer for this film) used in “Saving Private Ryan,” but to his credit, Eastwood has an unerring sense of what to borrow. The battlefield sequences are suitably unsettling, chaotic and horrifying.For the three survivors, living with the label of “hero” is as challenging as surviving on a battlefield. Bradley and Hayes are tormented by the thought of leaving their comrades behind when the war is still raging, and Hayes discovers that his battlefield heroics do little to curb the racism he encounters at home and exacerbate the alcoholism that’s sure to send him to an early grave. Phillippe and Bradford are quite good, but Beach manages to both make Hayes sympathetic and ends up walking away with the film. You can see his strain at having to recall and celebrate events he’d just as soon forget. One added bonus is the fact that most of the actors actually resemble the real people they’re playing. It aids immeasurably in establishing the authenticity of the story.The flashback-heavy narrative is a little tricky to follow at first, but as “Flags of Our Fathers” progresses, it helps make the Iwo Jima survivor’s plight more compelling. They may be thousands of miles from the battle, but their memories won’t let it fade.Eastwood and the screenwriters manage a delicate but assured balancing act. He portrays the warriors of Iwo Jima as deeply flawed men who were heroes for simply coming off the island alive.With the emotional wallop “Flags of Our Fathers” packs, it’s easy to forgive the slightly protracted running time. Eastwood’s next film is “Letters from Iwo Jima,” where he recounts the same battle from the Japanese point of view. Considering how he effortlessly managed to demonstrate the difference between heroics and hollow jingoism in this film, it shouldn’t be surprising if that film works just as well.
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